Let me just begin this post by saying that earlier this evening I was feeling pretty stoked about my new little blog! After the babies were snuggled in their beds, I grabbed some pizza and a glass of milk and settled in with my laptop do to some internet browsing. I decided to check out my site stats to see just how many people had actually checked out my first post. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my blog has had 239 views since yesterday’s cake smash post went live, and I have gained 8 followers (all friends and family, of course, but still…)! Now, for all you veteran bloggers out there, those stats may seem paltry, but for little ole’ me, that’s a pretty good crowd!
So, yeah, I might have been just a little excited. And I might have even called my mom to brag about how many people love me. And I may have even scared the crap out of my poor husband (and almost caused him serious bodily harm) by running into the bathroom and jerking open the shower door to tell him about it just as he was about to start shaving in the vicinity of his jugular vein. But don’t worry, I didn’t keep my inflated head for long. Because karma heard it swelling and chose to knock me down a few pegs via the world wide web.
You see, this blog was not created on a whim. I’ve been planning it in my head for a long time. Believe it or not, the biggest obstacle I encountered was coming up with a blog title! I literally spent months brainstorming names for my site, only to find that 99 percent of the names I came up with were already being used, or the domain was not available, or both. Finally, I settled on “twodaloo,” a moniker that I really liked and that had a reasonably similar domain available. So I purchased two-daloo.com, and a few weeks later, a blog was born!
But I digress. After celebrating my blogging success, I sat back down and continued to surf around the internet while trying to balance my gigantic head on my shoulders. Eventually, on a whim, I decided to Google “twodaloo” to see if my blog would show up in the results. I mean, since I had nothing better to do. And to my horror, my absolute disgrace, this is what I saw on the first page of my search results:
“TwoDaLoo, for Couples Who Share Everything”
“”TwoDaLoo two-person loo promises piles of fun…literally”
“TwoDaLoo: Inexplicable Twin Toilet…”
And my favorite- “TwoDaLoo toilet: His-and-hers respirators optional”
Oh. EM. GEEE.
After I recovered from my shock, I clicked on a few of these tasteful links and discovered that there was in fact an actual two-seater toilet available from about 2008 to sometime in 2011 that was marketed under…what else?…the name “TwoDaLoo.” Although the wholesaler website where it was available for purchase is now up for sale, the product has been written about so much (gee, wonder why?) that I was able to find the original ad copy. According to the manufacturer, the TwoDaLoo “saves rocky marriages” by allowing you to get more intimate with your partner. Seriously?? Nothing like a little quality time in the John with the one you love! And even better – the TwoDaLoo is environmentally friendly because it allows both bowls to be cleaned with a single flush! And that’s still not all…upgrading to the “advanced model” scores you a seven-inch LCD TV and iPod docking station. Thank goodness! ‘Cuz I’m gonna need some tunes to mask the, erm, inevitable background noise that comes with two people doing their private business simultaneously in close quarters. I mean, really, all it needs now is a Keg-o-rater and we’d have ourselves a real party on our hands! Best of all, this beautiful invention could be purchased for the low, low price of only $1,400! I think my heart just skipped a beat!
So, there you have it. Somehow I managed to name my brand-new, squeaky-clean blog after a freaky super-toilet. Let this be a lesson to you all…Google your new blog name BEFORE you have already bought the domain and spent hours and hours getting your layout just right. Maybe this is why I got so many hits yesterday. People were looking for the two-seater toilet of their dreams and stumbled on my website, only to be bitterly disappointed! Oh well, ya can’t please everyone!
One last thing. Just in case you were wondering what this lovely commode-for-two looked like….
Behold! The TwoDaLoo toilet! Complete with Mr. and Mrs. TwoDaLoo themselves.
Until next time…dare I say it?